Limitation
Limitation : the quality or state of being limited.
I’ve been making so many rules in my life that i’ve been so limited that i’ve no idea what i have to, how i have to live, what my goal is, and even what i want in my life.
For example, my family has been putting this state of mind to me since i was little a girl that i have to marry a man with certain requirements. All my life, i just being in lust with only 3 people. Those people meet these requirements. That sometimes, well, now, i re-question my self whether i really liked/like them because they are themselves or just because they meet my requirements.
What is love? i don’t know. Even now, i consider myself being in love with someone because : first he meets my requirements, second i’ve been known him like years, third i haven’t met anyone new. So if you ask me i love him or not, i’ll answer a big yes. But if you ask me i want to be with him or not, NO definitely not. A good friend of mine once told me that is not love. But another good friend told me it is love. And then, now i re-consider it, and i ask myself again. Do I love you? NO, I DON’T.
Confused? Yeah, me too.
So what does this do with limitation? Well, much. I limit myself to a very deep emotional thing like this one. Do you ever hear things that say love have no limitation, or you can’t control whom you’re in love with? Well, i’ve been controlled myself. I make rules. I make defence. I make limitation.
So, after having this conversation with another good friend of mine just this afternoon, i decide something. Well, kind of important to me. I want to push the limit aside. I even want to remove it. I’m too tired making everybody else happy by forgetting my happiness by making those rules. I think too much. I consider too much. Like she said, if i keep doing this limitation thing, i’m gonna lose all those great chances. And i don’t want to.
Well, P.S. : it’s gonna be a very slow change, but please understand. This has been in me for my whole life. So help me. 
No trackbacks yet.